Sunday, July 09, 2006

She's looking cool with her hair down... on the fairground

Hullo all! I'm taking a break from all my worries to do a little blogging. (and it sure helps a lot) This outing, I've got more search strings from people trying to be where they can see that our troubles are all the same.
Now if only they knew my name...

First off, there's the standard-issue Orange Snot searches, of which I'm ranked 14th on google as of this posting. Honestly, it just wouldn't be Hammistan without someone hitting up my weird mucus issues from a year and a half ago. Thanks nameless internet dude!

In other searches directly related to my posts, there's Diet Coke & Mentos, Lil'Gabe's Murloc impression, and of course my magnum opus - the saga of my wayward nasal hair. There's also one for quetzalcoatl scotland, which goes all the way back to my third post.

But that's not why you're here, naturally. You're here for the weird shit. The "why in the hell is anyone looking for this" stuff that Rachy does so much better than me. Anyway, I'll post my requisite oddness, to make her look good by comparison... compassion for the sickly, and all that.

First up is Predator costumes in Scotland. Why anyone thinks the cosplays are all that different up in the 44 is beyond me... but there you go.

There's the double-fisted action of chain the soul, and MC soul of Scotland. You know, if nobody's taken those already they'd make kickass stage names for white rappers. I can totally see them fightin' for their rights, and jumpin' around and whatnot. Ain't no question they'd definitely be down wit J-Zeezus.

Finally, there's the refugee from Hillbilly Mom's Library and Mail-Order Service, who was looking for a guide to making scented cool towels. Sorry, but I only have the regular-flavored towels Mac, Also, the only coolness I've got stocked is of the tape variety.


In news marginally unrelated to search strings, Perhaps you might consider stopping by the Big Blogger 2 cyberhouse, and showing a little votey lurve for your old pal Stew? Sure, I know I don't have the Lithospheric Misadventures or Biker Hotties like some of my housemates, but consider my many other qualities...


On second thought, consider what the cyberhouse would be like with an all-female cast...

No, ya damn perv, not like that. Not at all like that. Not even dressed as beer cans, I'm sorry to say.
I think the appeal to my gender is my best chance here. Hey why not, right? I mean 49% of the population can identify with me in that Y-chromosomal way. So you see, guys, you should totally vote for your pal Stew - it's in your genes. And your jeans, for that matter.

Vote Stew - Because You Have A Penis, Too.

(At least it makes more sense than Puffly's asinine slogan)

search string inanity:
Go Through Them Like Crap Through a Google
The Intertron is Spazz-tastic!
It Snot Me, It's Inertia
Eleven Psychotic Search Strings
Listen up you primitive screwheads: this is my GOOGLE!
Zen Blogging
Misspelling Bee
Boobies for the Frog Brothers
Phlegm Redux
The Mystery of Soul Bitches


Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

Scented cool towels? That's a bit tame for my mail order business. It's more like 'wet worn panties crusty pee'. There, now you can share in the kinky search love.

I, too, have noticed that the poll-voting-thingy at Big Blogger 2 is not working. After I went a-beggin' and all, I can't check the results.

1:01 PM, July 09, 2006  
Blogger Cazzie!!! said...

Ditto Hillbilly Mom with the voting pole thing for BB2.
Haha Stew, biker hotties...and to think I never got a pic of me on one of them :(

8:51 PM, July 09, 2006  
Blogger Stewed Hamm said...

Naturally, I'm also accepting votes from the non-penised community as well, should you ladies wish to join the bandwagon.

8:42 AM, July 10, 2006  

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