Monday, June 05, 2006

I see the telephone post, I watch a sparrow fly

Today, I've got another helping of the finest Zen Blogging known to me. This intallment is inspired and dedicated to the guys at who sent a search my way within an hour of my post about Haditha Math. For my lameass little blog, that makes Barry Allen look like he's standing still.

So obviously, first up is a generic "Haditha" from Google... after that, it gets fun.

Immediately preceeding is the omnipresent internet lusting for snot-related searches, with "coughing up white chunks." "Orange snot" however took top honors for most common search string... again.

A fellow OOTS'er dropped by... no telling if he was a fellow devotee of Banjo, because he didn't leave a damn comment. *grumblecakes*

I've still got some nasal hair aftershocks from last time, with a half-dozen variations on the theme.

A (slightly, and sadly) exciting occurence would be the first email link I can recall... well, the first one that didn't come from me, anyway. A more exciting occurence was my discovery that I was the #1 result for "Stewed Hamm" ... but I already mentioned that.

Now that I've made you read all this in anticipation of the weird shit at the end, I can only hope you aren't disappointed. The weird searches: (starting with the ones I get just because "Scotland" is in the page's titlebar)
  • "Scotland Bitches" - Sorry homes, I'm the only bitch here.
  • "Scotland's Lunch Today" - Probably haggis... but I doubt they've all coordinated their meals, so there will be some slight variation
  • "Relationship Love Blogspot" - Definitely not this corner of blogspot.
  • "Fourty-Plus Hot Babes" - Why be greedy, I'd settle for just a few.
  • "Lubbock Shithole" - do you really have to use the internet to know this?
  • and last, but not least, I'm the #2 result for "kelan and joe need a little sleepy." Why, I have no clue, but I suggest they take a fucking nap already.

Also, completely unrelated to search strings, I'd like to mark the 62nd anniversary of George S. Patton, the Golden-Age Disgustipator, delivering the famous speech to his troops. Naturally, you've seen the version immortalized in the George C. Scott film, but few people know how watered-down and tame the Hollywood version actually was. Damn but we could use another two or three of him.

Previous Search String Inanity:
The Intertron is Spazz-tastic!
It Snot Me, It's Inertia
Eleven Psychotic Search Strings
Listen up you primitive screwheads: this is my GOOGLE!
Zen Blogging
Misspelling Bee
Boobies for the Frog Brothers
Phlegm Redux
The Mystery of Soul Bitches


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