Thursday, June 15, 2006

Big Blogger 2, Lucky Task #7

This week, Big Blogger's taken all us cyberhousemates out for a bit of fun. Yes, we're off to the circus sideshows - the land of questionable safety practices, and health regulations be damned! What could be more fun than that, I ask.

But this particular sideshow is running short of bearded ladies, two-headed calves, and other assorted freaks, so all us bloggers have been trucked in to fill out the ranks. We've been tasked with designing a new sideshow attraction that will get peple spending their money like a Kennedy on a brewery tour.
It's a daunting task to say the least, but i think if we approach it scientifically a solution should present itself. I asked myself "Self, what will people buy with almost little regard to price?" It's a challenging question, but myself replied "I, you simpleton," (myself is an asshole sometimes, you know) "a cursory examination of economic principles would show that some of the most price inelastic goods are salt and hard drugs. Now, given that we're surrounded by carnie folk, we could probably expect atypically large sales of salt licks. However, I suspect profits will be greater if we go with crystal meth."

Usually, I trust myself implicitly, but since this is Big Blogger, I'm not taking any chances - so I combined the two ideas into one. If you're looking for me this week, you'll find me at the Fly-By-Night carnival. I'll be the guy running "Aunt Crystal's Old Tyme Lick-a-Torium." (We're right behind the Tilt-a-Whirl, and across from the Funnel Cake stand) I've even been working on my carney barker's spiel... check it:

That's right folks, hurr-ey hurr-ey, step right up and experience the finest salt licks anywhere in the free or other-wise oppressed worlds. Just one tiny tongueful of that classic Aunt Crystal's flavor, and you'll be wide-eyed with bliss. If you buy only one salt lick this year, you'll curse yourself a fool for not making it an Aunt Crystal's brand salt lick. Act now! Don't wait until people are lined up around the block to get a chance at purchasing a gen-you-wine Aunt Crystal's salt lick. Impress your friends, be the envy of your neighborhood when you're the first one on the block to have an Aunt Crystal's Old Tyme salt lick in every room of the house!

I just wonder what we'll do with the mountains of cash we'll be raking in.

----The Rest of The Usual Suspects:

The Rachy
Hillbilly Mom
Redneck Diva
and the interloper, Doctor Evil

----Previous Big Blogger 2 posts:
Theyyyyyyyy're Mediocre!
Infectious Grooves
The Shame of the Monkeybars
Roses Have Thorns: The Kleenex Box Ode
Abe Dawg's playing poker
Postcards From the Hedge
Your Friendly Neighborhood Asshole
You can't HANDLE the TRUTH!


Blogger Rebecca said...

This Is Big Blogger.
Sounds to me like someone has been watching a bit too much Clockwork Orange. But I am sure your attraction will be well visisted.
This Has Been Big Blogger.

6:23 PM, June 17, 2006  

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