Big Blogger 2: Task Number Nine... Number Nine... Number Nine...

This week's task is quite simple, it only requires coming up with a few lines of text... so even I should be able to squeeze it in among moving and whatnot, right?
Wrong. (Of course) This has been one of the more difficult challenges Big Bloggah has thrown at me. Mostly because many of the cyberhousemates are my blogfriends, and if one wants to keep them as such, courtesy dictates politics and religion should stay out of the discussion. Shocking, I know - when did your pal Stew go soft and start obeying courtesy? Who's to say, my homies... but nevertheless, there you have it.

But still, if I want to win the big cash and fancy prizes, then blog I must. This week's task is to come up with two bumper stickers, one political, and one humorous. So let's see what I can pull out of my arse at the deadline, shall we? After all, I made the Final Four, so the least I can do is put forth a little effort... except that putting forth little effort is one of my strong suits. I come quite close to excelling at it, actually.

Regardless, for starters let's blow courtesy right out of the water by combining politics and religion into something sure to offend plenty of people on the road. If I had a Disgustipator-Mobile, this sticker would surely be on it:

"If you don't agree that islam is a 'Religion of Peace,' I'll cut your fucking head off."

Next up, another sticker that would go well on the mythical Disgustipator-Mobile... or on Billy Joel's car - you know, whichever:

"If you don't like the way I drive, stay out of your living room."

Come to think of it, if I don't find these stickers in one of the evil bastard boxes I'm lugging across town, I'll be an unhappy Stew. No worries though, I'm not unpacking those fuckers for like two years... moving sucks enough as it is, there's no need to go and complicate things by making a mess out of all those neatly stacked and organized boxes.

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The Rest of The Usual Suspects:
Cazzie!!!
Mark
LanternLight
The Rachy
Hillbilly Mom
TimT
Redneck Diva
Scottage
and the interloper outerloper, Doctor Evil

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Previous Big Blogger 2 posts:
Theyyyyyyyy're Mediocre!
Infectious Grooves
The Shame of the Monkeybars
Roses Have Thorns: The Kleenex Box Ode
Abe Dawg's Playing Poker
Postcards From the Hedge
Your Friendly Neighborhood Asshole
You can't HANDLE the TRUTH!
Get 'em while they're hot!
Peeping In Windows... Sort Of.