Little monsters in the boat parade

My God, it's full of stars... or perverts. Either way, it's definitely time to recap my search strings.

It seems like everyone hearts them the FuckMan™ post. I got four distinct searches for it in the last week.

Then, there's the continuing saga of the nose zit. The internets love my Shakespearian nasal tragedy so much they hit me up 8 times.

I've also got the requisite snot searches you love so much. Lemme just whip them out:

• orange snot symptoms (twice)
  
• coughing up pea sized phlegm
  
• phlegm chunks
  
  and finally,
  
  
• dog coughing up white mucous (bonus points for getting your dog into the act, you sick freak)
  

Finally, there's the plain weird shit. And the really weird shit.

Shit like "Love kleenex."
And "Batman Rims."
Not to mention "Chinese AK-47s," or "Staying in a shithole in Scotland." Personally, I prefer the Holiday Inn, bro but whatever floats your boat.

Of course, no search string post would be complete without a little glimpse into the dark heart of the internet. Today, I can do that and brag at the same time, because I'm the number one result for both "Soul Sheik," which isn't so bad, and "Towel Fetish Masturbation," which is.
By the way, I got the towel one on two different days. Apparently Hammistan is the towel fucker's clearinghouse or something. Lucky me.

----
Previous search string inanity:
Towels So Cool, They're Hot
Go Through Them Like Crap Through a Google
The Intertron is Spazz-tastic!
It Snot Me, It's Inertia
Eleven Psychotic Search Strings
Listen up you primitive screwheads: this is my GOOGLE!
Zen Blogging
Misspelling Bee
Boobies for the Frog Brothers
Phlegm Redux
The Mystery of Soul Bitches