Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Rumors or rivals yell at the strike force

Looking at the latest poll results, it seems that I'm coming in a distant third. No matter though, I'm confident that I'll snap up a quick 40 or so votes by morning and be right back in this thing... Or perhaps I'll squeak by on the merits of whatever voting twist Big Blogger has up her sleeve.

At least I'm getting a little publicity from Hillbilly Mom. Or is that condescension... I'm not sure. Regardless of her intent, I've decided to stubbornly pretend it's a good thing, even if her accusation of "playing the penis card" makes her sound like a backwoods Al Sharpton. In fact, I can totally picture her dreaming up new slogans for the next round...

"One lump or two? Don't vote for Stew!"
"Stewed Hamm is wrong, don't vote for his schlong!"
"Sonic Cherry Diet Coke is great, so make me your candidate!"
"If the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit!"
"When you go to the poll, vote for my hole!"

Those are all pretty good. There's even a little Johnny Cochrane in there, I see... I guess she got carried away.

So as you can plainly see, my fellow blogospherians, we can't allow dirty campaign tricks like that to prevail in this contest. Cast your vote for Scotland of the Soul, and ensure that an entirely different kind of dirty campaign trick will prevail in the upcoming election! The kind of dirty campaign trick that would drum up the most bizarre reasons possible to compare someone to Hitler. The kind of dirty campaign trick that would take credit for the invention of as many random creations as possible. The kind of dirty campaign trick that would totally scoff at leaving cat pictures in someone's mailbox.

When you step in that voting booth, just remember: They don't call it a poll for nothing. Vote for Stew - the only candidate with a penis!


Incidentally, the phrase "penis card" also reminds me of a great joke - I think it's from George Carlin originally, but it's one of my favorites. When he was a boy, his mother would yell at him from across the house, or the other side of a door to "quit playing around in there." And he would respond "Playing? I'm fucking serious in here!"

Previous vote whoring:
Let's All Go To The Poles


Blogger Cazzie!!! said...

"When you go to the poll, vote for my hole!"
WOW ..do not hold back Stewie My Man , LOL, I am PMSL here!!!

Hey, word verification is fxuzkbg...almost Fu$kbag...lol how weird is that?

12:46 AM, July 12, 2006  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

What's this? I devote an ENTIRE POST to your penis, and it is perceived as a dirty campaign trick? The Gummi Mary is turning over in her wastebasket!

You'll rue the day you stooped to negative campaigning, my little Hammster!
Don't pretend you're not afraid of the big bad backwoods mailbox felines. Rowrrrr...

3:23 PM, July 12, 2006  

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