Monday, May 29, 2006

Big Blogger 2 - Task 5 is A-live!

Despite Big Blogger's best efforts, including those of her top notch postal security staff, I managed to sneak out a letter to my folks. And because anything you post on the internet is absolutely a fer-shure secret, I'm posting it here as well. (With apologies to Allan Sherman)

Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah,
Here I am at the House of Bloggah.
The Cyberhousemates are OH SO CLEVER.
They say we'll all be bestest friends forever!

First there's Cazzie!!! and her cool cleaners.
She's been cleared of her misdemeanors.
Even though she's a lightning typist,
She's got breasticles an astronaut just can't miss.

Hillbilly Mom is a school teacher.
She likes to sleep where nobody can reach her
Down from her mansion, she's come slumming.
She's completely fascinated by our plumbing.

Redneck Diva just got evicted.
With all those ants she sees she just might be "afflicted."
Her "good friend" Carlos the pool attendant
Says she does buttsy-wuttsy most resplendent!

In the corner is Lantern Light.
He doesn't say much, but he's all right.
He doesn't care for big fat chickens.
Something tells me they're not all that finger-lickin'.

That slacker Rachy has kept us waiting
For more hot topics to fuel debating.
She's bedridden, don't you know
Because she played phone tag with Russell Crowe

Tim T is another outcast.
Big Blogger gave him the boot quite fast.
He didn't do any writing,
So he's out there chatting up street lighting.

Laughing Mark is in construction.
his psyche doesn't take much deduction.
To his desires, Vargas caters.
He's an unmatched master of debaters!

Scottage rounds out the housemate recap,
But Big Blogger gave him a kneecap.
Kicked him out like year-old jelly.
Thank God he left us Val'rie Bertinelli!

So there you have it, Mom and Dad
The cyberhousehold, ain't all that bad.
Hold on a minute, there's new tasks waiting!
I've got to go put on my armor plating.

But wait, there's more! Not sold in any store!
It's double your pleasure, double your task.
As Big Blogger has heroes she wants to unmask
Part two of this week's challenge I'll have in due time
(though I'll be damned if I keep up this impossible rhyme)

The Rest of The Usual Suspects:
The Rachy
Hillbilly Mom
Redneck Diva

Previous Big Blogger 2 posts:
Theyyyyyyyy're Mediocre!
Infectious Grooves
The Shame of the Monkeybars
Roses Have Thorns: The Kleenex Box Ode
Abe Dawg's playing poker


Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

A most enjoyable entry, my dear Stewie. Now I can't get that song out of my head. It is making it difficult to write my POEm for my superhero.

2:38 PM, May 29, 2006  
Blogger Rebecca said...

Hello Stewie, This Is Big Blogger.
I see you have blogged, like a good camper.
Now you're half entered, for this week,
we can only hope your superpowers save the meek.

7:01 PM, May 29, 2006  
Blogger Cazzie!!! said...

Groovy, exclnt, well done Stew!!!

4:31 AM, May 30, 2006  

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