Big Blogger 2, Task #1

Upon arrival at the House of Blog, I was all set to unveil my ingenious all-purpose cleaner upon the world, when I saw Cazzie!!! in the front room, furiously scrubbing away at the piss-stained hallway, courtesy of passing vagrants. I must say I'm terribly impressed with her sense of irony, as it seems her cleanser's main ingredient is urine.

Nonetheless, I was crestfallen (that's a swanky word, don't you think?) that my cleaning product would not grace the spotlight, and would in fact be gracing the dumpster out back. Moving on to my entirely appropriate Plan B, I began stocking the pantry with boxes and boxes of Scorn Flakes.

That's right folks, Scorn Flakes, the "Breakfast of Participants!" Chock full of wholesome grains of some kind... and maybe nuts or something... Scorn Flakes have all the vitamins and things that underachieving also-rans like yourselves need to fuel their self-loathing and angst.

Let's face it everyone, only one person will be taking home that shiny blue ribbon, and odds are it won't be you. So while you sit in the back row making snarky comments with your hippie friends, why not fill up on some Scorn Flakes? Lord knows they taste better than the bile you're trying hard to choke back.

Why Scorn Flakes, you ask? As we all know, breakfast is the most important meal of the day, with 3 AM trips to Taco Bell coming in a close second. If the breakfast of participants isn't good enough for a house full of people participating in a contest, I don't know what is.
And also, there's no way in hell I'm eating Vegemite.

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The rest of the usual suspects:
Cazzie!!!
Mark
LanternLight
The Rachy
Hillbilly Mom
TimT