Thursday, June 08, 2006

The sheik he drove his cadillac, He went a cruisin down the ville

This just in: All over the news this morning are reports that supreme fuckstick Abu Musab al -Zarqawi, leader of Al Qaida in Iraq, and the terror of young camels everywhere, was killed in an airstrike late yesterday. Whether your for or against the war, you have to admit that this is a good day for the free world. Zarqawi is responsible for the torture and death of thousands of innocent people, and Iraq's future looks a good deal brighter with him out of the picture.

Of course, this was inevitable. Zarqawi and his homies don't really know how to operate a machine gun, and without their New Balance sneakers, they're worthless as footsoldiers. They probably got their training at the same place as this peter-puffer.

Have a nice time in Hell, Z.

Blogger's been spotty all yesterday, and will continue to be that way today, so I wanted to have had this up earlier. Anyway, there's a fuckton of commentary out there about this news, but I wanted to be sure and point both my readers to the absolute stupidest person I could find.

So without further ado, congratulations Michael Berg, you're the dumbest person in America! Mr. Berg is the father of Nick Berg who you'll recall was beheaded by Zarqawi and his thugs in 2004. But of course, Mr. Berg doesn't hold Zarqawi responsible for it... even though he held the sword and did the chopping. Who does Mr. Berg blame? Bush.
"Zarqawi felt my son's breath on his hand as held the knife against his throat. Zarqawi had to look in his eyes when he did it," Berg added, pausing to collect himself. "George Bush sits there glassy-eyed in his office with pieces of paper and condemns people to death. That to me is a real terrorist."

You've let your hatred of President Bush consume you so much that you'll pimp out your son's memory just to take a swipe at him. What a classy guy.
But wait, it gets better. Mr. Berg also had this brilliant thought to share with the world:
I think al-Zarqawi's death is a double tragedy," Michael Berg told The Associated Press after learning a U.S. airstrike had killed the leader of al-Qaida in Iraq. "His death will incite a new wave of revenge." he added that al-Zarqawi's death is likely to foster anti-American resentment among al-Qaida members who feel they have nothing left to lose.

Because, you know, al-Qaida doesn't resent us now. In fact, just last week they sent us a really nice gift basket. It had flowers and fruit, and a little semtex teddy bear... that Osama's just a big ol softie when you get right down to it. The Bagdahd FTD outlet also issued a statement saying they would be going out of business now that Zarqawi would no longer be sending out all those "Star Gazer" bouquets.


Blogger Rachy said...

Let's just pray he never gets together with Cindy Sheehan

PS I haven't commented on blogger for quite some time, and I don't usually make a fuss about this kind of thing, but I find it a little offensive that a wheelchair is used to indicate auditory disability or whatever the fuck. Blogger sucks. Sucks donkeys cocks.

9:27 AM, June 10, 2006  
Blogger Mark said...

Hee hee.

9:14 PM, June 10, 2006  
Blogger Mark said...

BTW - i blogrolled you. I can't get your e-mail down, apparently.

9:44 AM, June 11, 2006  
Blogger deadpanann said...

What a fucktard. Berg, that is. Fuck. Tard.

The only way Zurqawi's death could be better news is if they'd killed him face to face, slowly, while he surrendered dignity to plead for his life and hopefully wet his pants before a soldier could saw through his neckbone with a big knife. He didn't deserve to go so quickly and with no warning.

You don't need to be God to be able to see that this guy deserved to die. Just being sane should do.


1:38 PM, June 13, 2006  

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