But I got a sweet tooth that'll never come loose

So I had the occasion to partake of Cookie Cake this weekend. Tasty as always, of course. However, as we were bullshitting around the table, we noticed something weird about the box that the Cookie Cake arrived in.

Sure, I know that they made those prop cakes specifically for the photo shoot... but what if someone walked up to the counter and ordered one?

That's a pretty Zen dude that orders a cookie cake with "Cookie Cake" written on it.
It's an even more Zen dude that gets one with "Not a Cookie Cake" written on his.
But the most Zen dude of all comes up to the counter right after those two guys and gets one that says "Armadillo."

$20 says I get that Armadillo cookie for my birthday.

Somebody's Broken Heart And A Washed-Out Dream

Things I learned while watching ~15 seconds of the Michael Jackson "Memorial."

• People are stupid
  
• Jermaine Jackson is still alive
  
• People are stupid
  
• Although Michael Jackson did not invent dance fighting, he refined it into the potent martial art it is today - much like Bruce Lee did with Jeet Kune Do.
  
• People are stupid
  
• The whole thing would have been much more interesting if during the performance of Thriller, Mike's corpse rose from the casket, started dancing along with the cast, then proceeded to eat everyone's brains.
  
  • Bonus fact - this particular scenario is equally plausible if Michael is still alive.
• People - as I may have mentioned - are stupid
  
• The word "Shamon" is much like the word "Smurf." Just insert it into any conversation as needed.
  
• People are so very, very stupid.

Our mum, she's so house-proud

Our good friend (and champion blogger) Mrs. Hillbilly Mom recently wrote about her woes of paying the taxman. Apparently she's not renting enough, or something. Now, I am anything, if not helpful, so I thought I'd publicly offer Mrs. HM some free advice... like "news you can use," or something:

Mrs. Hillbilly Mom can go live in a cave.

I mean that in the nicest sense, of course. These folks out in Festus built their home in a cave, so why not Mrs. Hillbilly Mom? At one point the intrepid cave-dwellers were trying to sell the home on eBay, because apparently they were targeted by a predatory lender, or sabre-toothed tiger, or something. The story is unclear on the precise details, but I suspect mastodons may also be involved somehow.

You be the judge:

Fine country livin'

Anyway, I bet that tucked away in the Spendulus bill, a clever accountant can find an earmark or two for cave-folk. Hell, they've got money for Neanderthals like AmTrack and Chrysler, why not money for people living like actual Neanderthals?

Mrs. Hillbilly Mom could build her cave home a good sight cheaper than the visionaries in Festus, what with already employing an experienced home MiniMansion builder. This thing was built out of dozens of sliding glass doors and spare plywood, and Mrs. Hillbilly Mom has told us all about the plethora of unused auto glass (and autos) she has lying about. I'm sure there are plenty of spare power tools to be found in Hillmomba, lying out in the road, even! She even has the land... once the corpses are cleared out of her sinkholes, that is. It sounds practically shovel-ready, don't you think?

Once the "Spelunker's Biltmore" is built, I've also thought of a foolproof way to see it increase in value. Aside from their current projects of raising chickens and "free" potbellied pigs, naturally. All Mrs. Hillbilly Mom has to do is give the Pony a big box of crayons and tell him to go crazy on the walls. It'll be like Lascaux, only better, because it won't smell like moldy old French dudes, or stinky cheese... theoretically, at least.

Tell me that I'm lying 'bout a job

So, here we are in August. Lovely weather, innit?

Anyway, because we are the beneficiaries of Hillbilly Mom's overflowing wisdom, we know that the school year is almost over. Due to that impending deadline, I'm going to have to hit the bricks all year and secure myself some gainful employment for the "rest of my life" period that comes after college.
Now, I'm not worried about my resume. It is what it is, and I've worked hard to make it as good as I can. What gets me all nervy is the job interview. I've got a mock interview tomorrow, and I'm hoping I don't get any of those weird "What animal would you describe yourself as?" or "How many quarters would you have to stack up to reach the top of the Sears Tower?"

Well, not those two specifically. I've already prepared my answers for the questions I *know* I'm nervous about. It's the other weird shit that's making me nervous... the Kinko's Test kind of weird. (Note: for those of you who have never lowered yourself to apply for a job at Kinko's, in the olden days their pre-screening test was like 300 questions... all of which were designed to see if you're a criminal, insane, or criminally insane. Sample question: "True or false - most people have two thumbs?")

I know some of you reader(s) have been going on interviews lately. Let's hear the weird questions you were asked... especially if you applied at Kinko's.