Tuesday, November 06, 2012

It's pudding time children.

Election night is upon us, and I have but one thing to say:


I wanna dip my balls in it!


For anyone who doesn't remember the early '90s, this might jog your memory:

Get More:
MTV Shows



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Monday, March 16, 2009

We'll dance by the light of the moon

Looks like our friend Ozark Hill Woman, who incidentally, has an Oh So Political blog made the trek up to Cincinnati for the weekend's Tea Party protest. Though she may deny it, the astute folks at Virtuous Republic managed to snap a picture of the elusive Hill Woman. h/t Michelle Malkin.



My, you're awfully young to be so politically cynical, OHW. Good luck with the whole pony thing, though.


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Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Our mum, she's so house-proud

Our good friend (and champion blogger) Mrs. Hillbilly Mom recently wrote about her woes of paying the taxman. Apparently she's not renting enough, or something. Now, I am anything, if not helpful, so I thought I'd publicly offer Mrs. HM some free advice... like "news you can use," or something:

Mrs. Hillbilly Mom can go live in a cave.

I mean that in the nicest sense, of course. These folks out in Festus built their home in a cave, so why not Mrs. Hillbilly Mom? At one point the intrepid cave-dwellers were trying to sell the home on eBay, because apparently they were targeted by a predatory lender, or sabre-toothed tiger, or something. The story is unclear on the precise details, but I suspect mastodons may also be involved somehow.

You be the judge:


Fine country livin'

Anyway, I bet that tucked away in the Spendulus bill, a clever accountant can find an earmark or two for cave-folk. Hell, they've got money for Neanderthals like AmTrack and Chrysler, why not money for people living like actual Neanderthals?

Mrs. Hillbilly Mom could build her cave home a good sight cheaper than the visionaries in Festus, what with already employing an experienced home MiniMansion builder. This thing was built out of dozens of sliding glass doors and spare plywood, and Mrs. Hillbilly Mom has told us all about the plethora of unused auto glass (and autos) she has lying about. I'm sure there are plenty of spare power tools to be found in Hillmomba, lying out in the road, even! She even has the land... once the corpses are cleared out of her sinkholes, that is. It sounds practically shovel-ready, don't you think?

Once the "Spelunker's Biltmore" is built, I've also thought of a foolproof way to see it increase in value. Aside from their current projects of raising chickens and "free" potbellied pigs, naturally. All Mrs. Hillbilly Mom has to do is give the Pony a big box of crayons and tell him to go crazy on the walls. It'll be like Lascaux, only better, because it won't smell like moldy old French dudes, or stinky cheese... theoretically, at least.


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Thursday, November 06, 2008

While you rid the world of your every sin

So... the election, eh? Yeah, I suppose I should say something or other about that.


Some states are red
Some states are blue
It doesn't really matter
Because we're all getting screwed.
(Burma Shave)

Or perhaps, you'd prefer the classy, haiku version:


Say, is this the line
for bread, or perhaps for gas?
Hooray for HopeChange!


Or is that somehow racist to bring up Soviet-style rationing lines?
These hipster douchebags don't seem to think so.



I'll grant you that they have a different opinion about them than I do. That's easy to do when you've never had to live through it. I hope that magic unicorn you voted for makes you feel good enough to last you the next four years, beatniks.


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Friday, October 31, 2008

I am the shadow on the moon at night, filling your dreams to the brim with fright

Happy All Hallows' Eve, you guy(s). Been a while since I've posted anything, but then there's really not much to speak of that's going on in West Hammistan these days. I'm working two part-time jobs to pay my bills, while I'm busy looking for a real actual professional job. That's going like gangbusters, by the way... Thanks, Barney Frank!

So I've been hanging at my pad, giving out candy - and band aids, in one case - to the kids stopping by. Later on, I'm going to watch The Thing (easily one of the scariest movies I've ever seen. Also one of the coolest.) and then stay up all night playing X-Com.

Good times, eh?

After-action report: Costumes were a little disappointing this year. Last year, a kid built his own robot costume with metal hoses and crap. Had working lights and everything. Didn't see him this year, or if I did, he was another of the faceless hordes of Clone Troopers that darkened my door. (though in retrospect, if all those kids had planned being Clone Troopers together, that would have been an awesome concept.)

There was a big mob of rude kids, most of whom were dressed in nothing more creative than an old football jersey. (with players from like 10 years ago - seriously, a Cowboys jersey with Joey Galloway's name on it!) Listen kid, don't just grab a half-ass costume off your closet floor and think it entitles you to a handful of my Skittles. I'm not O'Bambi here, kid. I'm not going to be spreading any of my milk-chocolatey wealth around if I don't have to. In fact, I'm pretty bitter about clinging to my religion, guns, and nougat.

In more positive news, there was a little girl with a pretty good pirate outfit. Her brother was dressed as a ninja. I'm not sure if I should be extremely impressed, or extremely nervous that they're aware of the inter-tron's pirates vs. ninjas meme. For the record, neither one of them killed the other while they were at my house. I'll look for swaths of destruction and blood-drenched houses after dawn.


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Tuesday, July 08, 2008

If you'll just hold on for one more second

Guess what, everyone? It's "Random Discussion Tuesday!"

So if you're not regular readers of the Hillbilly Mansion, then you won't be aware that Hillbilly Mom dedicated an entire post to me and a comment I made regarding where to assign credit/blame for the state of the economy. This is, of course a signal honor, considering that it's not a political blog. I would have replied in the comments , but I wanted to include some text formatting and a graph. (thanks, Dr. Stapp!) So if this sort of thing interests you, you'll first want to read up on her post, so you know where we all stand.



An entire post dedicated to me? Gosh, I'm flattered. (I'm sure the Economy is flattered as well) Now, while my main point was that assigning all blame to one party for the state of the US economy is hardly fair, I'm happy to reply to your answer.

To start with, you are entirely correct that the Democrats have not had a veto-proof majority for the past 6 years. They still have control over committees, where legislation is drafted, and the legislative calendar, which determines the bills that will be debated on the floor. So let's keep in mind that every bill voted on by Congress has already passed a Democrat-controlled committee of both houses, and the Democrat leadership's legislative calendar of both houses.
This, of course, does not actually prevent Congress from passing laws and forcing the President to veto them - a useful tactic as it puts the President on defense for his veto, rather than pressure on Congress for failing to act. But you can imagine how many more Democrat-preferred spending and economic bills make it to the floor than do Republican-preferred bills.
Naturally, the President can only sign or veto bills that actually get to his desk. He doesn't have any power to draft laws himself, and must depend on Congress to author responsible laws based on solid economic principles (and good luck with THAT, no matter who's in power)
If a bad law was signed, then I think that equal blame must be shared by the Democrat-led Congress that wrote it, and the President who signed it. Again, that's all I asked.
So, are you saying that there are some bills that would have strengthened the economy that President Bush vetoed, but shouldn't have? I'd be interested to hear your take on his very few exercises of the veto.

Moving on, I do indeed recall two government shutdowns (of "non-essential employees") during the 90s. As I remember it, Congress passed budget bills that weren't big enough for your man Bill. Bill wanted to spend more money, and raise taxes along to way to make sure that he could do it.
The Republican-led Congress refused, and let the government's authorization to spend money expire. There may have been other times prior to this when this happened, but my political memory only goes back so far - to the mid 80s. This particular time I remember well because I wondered why the hell the government was employing those people in the first place if they were non-essential.

As to our comparative educations in History, I'll take a pass on that. My schooling in US Government came primarily from my creepy 9th grade teacher Mrs. Eichmann, who always had a big smile on her face, regardless of how gruesome the subject was. Stalin? Viking Wing Death? It's grins all around from Mrs. E.
I'll also have to skip over your unemployment office experience, since you didn't say when it happened or for how long. It wouldn't be gentlemanly of me to ask a lady to supply such salacious (what a great word that is) things as dates and times.

I really like your National Debt chart though. Granted, it's from a politically biased source, (an LA County Democrat Party) so it should be discounted out of hand, and we should go look up the raw data ourselves. As we both have important things to do like watch Food Network and Ice Road Truckers, let's just assume that their data is accurate and move on.
This graph really cuts to the core of my (and the Economy's) point made in the earlier comment. Replace all the labels that refer to the party of the President in power, with the party in control of Congress, and we see a very different graph. Practically all of the large increases in the debt occur under Democrat-controlled Congresses, and the period of reduction in debt increases occur during a Republican-led Congress.



So when we assign some blame to the branch of government in which spending originates, it's not so clear-cut, is it? As my Congressionally-labeled graph shows, 9 of the 10 largest increases occurred under Democrat-led Congresses. (1985, 1990-1993, 2003-2006) 10 out of 10, if we include 2007, which does not appear on this graph. Incidentally, the NEW Records! that the Gardena Valley Democrats thought were so important to mention all happened under Democrat Congresses as well.
It's also important to note that this is a graph of INCREASES to the debt. Notice that not once does it ever decrease. Ever.

I've been dirt poor through both Clinton and Bush, though I've never felt poor enough to say I was "penny pinching." There was economic growth during both periods, but how it was reported by the media is mainly what makes people feel about good or bad economic times. Regardless, our individual experiences are statistically insignificant when talking about something as massive as the largest economy on the planet.

I'm with you on BO, though. I get lost trying to keep up with what he believes from day-to-day. About the only thing that's stayed consistent is that any criticism of his proposals or personal deficiencies is "a distraction from the issues" or "isn't helping [Michelle Obama's] kids."
If BO's like me, and can't stand the liquid annoying-ness that oozes off of Lindsey Buckingham, then I don't blame him for taking a pass on the Mac. If he's looking for a song from the era, I'd suggest Journey's "Any Way You Want It."

"Any way you want it
Thats the way you need it
Any way you want it"

There's a bunch of stuff in there about lovin' touchin' and/or squeezin' (hey, they should have written a song about that stuff too) but the BO-centric part gets mentioned over and over. I'm sure that makes me and Journey (and possibly the Economy, too) a bunch of racists.


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