But you're mistaking speed for getting what you need

I've been struck by the inspirationy goodness of Hillbilly Mom's Random Thought Thursday posts, so here I am back again to blog you like a hurricane. In fact, I've got so much inspiration, I just invented the word "inspirationy.")

So anyway, earlier this week I was driving home from work when I saw a red Ford Explorer driving through Hammistan. It had special edition Mississippi plates that said "Support Petal Schools," which naturally made me think of our friend Meanie. I naturally wondered out loud if that was Mr. and Mrs. McTimmslastname ahead of me, but then I thought "nah, she was supposed to be working today."

Then again, I've learned a thing or two during all this time that I've read her blog. I immediately came back with "You know... she could be making a break for it."

P.S. Hillbilly Mom, you might want to keep a better eye on your significant other. Sounds to me like he's been up to a shenanigan or two.

Pretty Mary bought some skates upon the ice to frisk

So, Barry* Bonds hit another home run last night, bringing his total up to 756* and breaking Hank Aaron's record... if you want to get caught up in that sort of thing. For those of us who are still sane, it's crystal clear why Barry*'s drug-addled ass wasn't thrown out of baseball years ago - money.
How much money has MLB stood to rake in amid all the "record-breaking" hype. Or at least, how much did they think they stood to make, anyway. Bud Selig was clearly hoping to see a repeat of all the excitement from the single-season home run chase... which honestly wasn't' much to write home about even then. (what with the aforementioned drugs and all.)

So yeah, fuck that cheating bastard Barry* Bonds. He and Selig are both first-class whores for what they've done to another cherished part of the game's history. What a pair.

Of course, this won't stop me from trying to make a profit off of my Barry* Bonds rookie card. Anyone interested in making a serious offer should email me or leave a comment below.

Tell me that I'm lying 'bout a job

So, here we are in August. Lovely weather, innit?

Anyway, because we are the beneficiaries of Hillbilly Mom's overflowing wisdom, we know that the school year is almost over. Due to that impending deadline, I'm going to have to hit the bricks all year and secure myself some gainful employment for the "rest of my life" period that comes after college.
Now, I'm not worried about my resume. It is what it is, and I've worked hard to make it as good as I can. What gets me all nervy is the job interview. I've got a mock interview tomorrow, and I'm hoping I don't get any of those weird "What animal would you describe yourself as?" or "How many quarters would you have to stack up to reach the top of the Sears Tower?"

Well, not those two specifically. I've already prepared my answers for the questions I *know* I'm nervous about. It's the other weird shit that's making me nervous... the Kinko's Test kind of weird. (Note: for those of you who have never lowered yourself to apply for a job at Kinko's, in the olden days their pre-screening test was like 300 questions... all of which were designed to see if you're a criminal, insane, or criminally insane. Sample question: "True or false - most people have two thumbs?")

I know some of you reader(s) have been going on interviews lately. Let's hear the weird questions you were asked... especially if you applied at Kinko's.