Six whole hours and five long days

Generally I don't go in for the meme-blogging, but it occurred to me that I haven't really linked to Diva since the summer, and that's just not right. So anyway, since I'm too busy to deal with a visit from Fitty, a few minutes spent smarting off to a list of questions should be just the preventative medicine that I need.

The rule of this particular meme is simple, answer each thing on the list with no more and no less than three words:

01. Where is your cell phone? Table, I think.
02. Boyfriend/girlfriend? Why... you busy?
03. Hair? Still some left
04. Your mother? Alive and kickin'
05. Your father? Golfing, most likely
06. Your favorite item(s)? My Brown Backpack
07. Your dream last night? I always forget
08. Your favorite drink? Dublin Doctor Pepper.
09. Your dream guy/girl? Miss Alyson Hannigan (Drew Barrymore Taken?) (Hotties from Osiris!)
10. The room you are in? Generic Work Environment
11. Your fear? Snakes Plus Plane
12. What do you want to be in 10 years? Not under ground
13. Who did you hang out with last night? Big Jim, Twins.
14. What are you not? Fat... I think.
15. Are you in love? Abso - effin - lutely
16. One of your wish list items? Dodge Viper Hardtop (Big Powerball Jackpot) (Finally Finish School)
17. What time is it? Time'ta Get Ill!
18. The last thing you did? Talked About Basketball
19. What are you wearing? Biz Caz Fri
20. Your favorite book? Very tough question (Lord of Rings) (Catch Twenty Two) (The Holy Scriptures) (The Hitchhiker's Guide)
21. The last thing you ate? Day Old Pizza
22. Your life? Ongoing, thank God.
23. Your mood? Fair to middlin'
24. Your friends? Homies for life (Exist - unlike Mabel)
25. What are you thinking about right now? Make more jokes!
26. Your car? Powered by rice (Not a Viper) (Four Door Sedan)
27. What are you doing at this moment? Big Frickin' Duh (Workin' For Livin')
28. Your summer? In three months
29. Your relationship status? Guys never know
30. What is on your TV screen? Nothing, I hope
31. When is the last time you laughed? Watching Andy Barker (Snappin' A Crat)
32. Last time you cried? I deny everything.
33. School? Kicking my ass.

For this many three-word answers, there should have been more three-word questions. Now that would take some talent.

There's one for you, nineteen for me

Right. So here we are again... I've gone off and disappeared for a week or so, and now I come crawling back hoping you'll glance into this dusty little corner of your bloglife and take notice.

Or whatever.

Anyway let's pretend that I haven't blogged in a while because I've been spending all my time watching Andy Barker, PI. I'm not going to pretend that it's Earl-caliber or anything, but you could do a lot worse with your time.
For instance, you could be watching this:



I think I've proven my point.

Incidentally, if you're like me and have internet access, then you can watch a bunch of episodes online here. Instead of sitting through a bunch of lameassed ads for used cars and Head-On, you only have to watch the occasional (extremely loud) Turbo Tax spot.
A fun thing to do, if you like is to watch tonight's episode like 47 times and then go over to a friend's house and say all the dialogue along with the show. Then, they'll think you're psychic and you can con them out of their money and/or Civil War chess set.

Make sure you watch the right episode, though, or they won't fall for it when you're putting their chess set inside your coat. It's pretty embarrassing... trust me on this.

Look for the Union label...

... or we'll break your fuckin' balls already. You got that, asshole?
Now go watch this fuckin' video, before I shove that toupee up your lily-white ass.



In my haste to post, I neglected to thank (read: admit the source of my theft) The New Editor. (via Ace, of course.) There, Now are youse guys happy and shit?

...Where beer does flow and men chunder

Well, I sat on my ass for a day too many, and Rachy goes and beats me to the punch about the Goracle's Grand Temple of Hypocracy... I've left my smart-assed comments on the matter over there. It's definately worth a look.

So while it may seem to the novice reader that I'm at a loss for a subject to post about (and thus provide proof of life to both of you reading this) I in fact had a second topic up my sleeve for just such an occasion. Ha! Take *that* you punks!

A week or so ago, I went for a bit of a drive, but when I popped in a my local Stop & Rob to fill up my tank, they were out of my usual Red Bull. So, I grabbed the first thing they had in the cooler... which was Amp. I put that shit back, since it's essentially Mountain Dew with half the water, which only means that it will make me twice as sick. The second thing they had in the cooler was a Coolah, which promised a "Refreshing lemon tang" and "Energy from Down Under."
After cracking it open, the first thing I noticed was that it didn't taste like your typical energy drink... which is to say: acid rain runoff. It actually tasted lemony. (Shocking, I know) Also, it kept me awake, and I didn't die in a firey car crash, so bonus points for that.

Anyway, according to the literature on the can, it's made by Cadbury Schweppes and is "inspired" (whatever the fuck that means) by some Aussie drink called Solo... but I'll be knackered if I can find much about it online. Even the Cadbury website doesn't list the damn thing, so hoo-rah for their Marketing Dept. eh? There is a decent write-up by some soda-reviewing site here, which pretty much says the same thing I do - "It's good. Why aren't you fuckwits marketing this properly?"
Now, given that this lameassed blog is relatively popular amongst the Emus & Roos crowd, I figured I'd let you guys do all my research for me. So I put it to you all: What's the deal with this "Solo" crap, everyone?