Monday, February 05, 2007

I heard the wind blow and it whispered your name

A few weeks ago, I wrote a little post about my work environment and how our ground-floor restrooms are the host organism for the gayest soap ever. Today, I learned that using the word "ever" was a bit presumptuous of me...

Technically, the soap I'll discuss today isn't gay so much as it's stupid. Very stupid, in fact. Just how stupid can this soap be, you ask... well try "peas" on for size. Yes, now that intoxicating aroma of peas - as in food that you eat - can now cling to your hands all bloody day long. Because, really, who doesn't want to go into an important meeting smelling of lunch? Who wouldn't want to have a prospective employer's first impression be "Hire me, I eat with my hands!" Who wouldn't want an important client to take their business elsewhere because your fragrant palms are screaming "I cannot grasp the concept of utensils!"

Perhaps this isn't the stupidest soap ever, but it's definitely in the top five. (between month-old bologna from a skunk's ass, and dead hobo) The kicker, however, is the little blurb at the bottom of the label that proclaims "Formulated with deodorizers to remove germs and odors from the hands."

Normally, I'm not in the business of giving out freebies... buuuuut next time maybe you should look into formulating your soap to remove the stink of peas, okay?


Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

Oh, the HORROR! I HATE peas. Ever since I was 9, and my dad said I couldn't get up from the table until I ate them, and it was 10:00, an hour past my bedtime, in the dark, dark kitchen of our single-wide trailer, parked on a lot next door to my grandpa's house, where I had to eat those cold, nasty peas before I could go to bed, and they popped in my mouth and squirted out their slimy pea-ness, and gagged me on every mouthful.

We have issues, peas and me.

8:26 PM, February 05, 2007  

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