Sunday, December 19, 2004

There's only one thing I can say to you:

I do indeed want to rock.

The problem is that there's little rocking to be had this time of year, unless one counts the rocking done 'round the Christmas Tree. Somehow, I just can't picture Ronnie James Dio in a Santa hat... maybe if he was burning an elf or something.

The local station I depend upon for my beloved 80s music, having already betrayed me once by softening their format to "80s, 90s, and Today" went "All X-Mas, All the Time" back before Thanksgiving, and I've lost all desire to even turn the damn radio on. The few 80s song they deign to dole out inevitably turn out to be soft poppy, 2nd rate stuff - never anything harder than the "safe" Van Halen song. Look, I like "Jump." I like it quite a bit, but there's just a tad more to their catalogue than one song. Hell, there's a lot more good stuff on that album alone.
Still, let's be a little more representative of the 80s please. There's only so much Sheena E that a guy can take, y'know. I'm not asking for lunch with Judas Priest or anything, just drop AC/DC in the rotation for a week or so...
I've cut a bit of a reprieve on VH by hitting up the Classic Rock stations, now that they're finally old enough to get some airplay there. However, wading through 40 minutes of Stones and Zeppelin just to hear something 80s isn't really a recipe for entertainment either.

I've noticed it more and more now, that rather than playing some of the 2nd tier hits by bands, the radio stations will annoint one track to be THE SONG that represents a particular band. THE SONG is all that they are allowed to play. Ever. There are no other songs, there is only THE SONG.
See it in action yourself - call up your local mindless radio station and request to hear your band. Even money says you'll get THE SONG. Of course, it won't work if you request a specific non-THE SONG song.

A perfect example is Twisted Sister. Right now, a good number of you just said "I Wanna ROCK!" but do you ever hear it on the radio? Noooo... THE SONG is "We're Not Gonna Take It."
Damn, man, I spent half of elementary school just itching for someone to ask me what I was gonna do with my life - all for the privledge of shouting the only possible answer back at them. Until this week, I would have been happy to take what I could get, and call myself lucky. But now? Now I want more.
Twisted Sister has yet to shake the glam image they hit it big with 20 frickin years ago, and they've been paying for it ever since. So when I was surprised to hear them on a fellow Osirian's radio show, (now defunct, you jackholes) I've been glad for their comeback. This week - things change... and I owe it all to a spastic little sponge, and a giant peanut costume.

Shit, if anyone can get more Twisted Sister on the air, then Spongebob can. Maybe an occasional Motorhead song to boot. The real trick will be if we can achieve it without getting any of Hasselhoff's German "hits" tagging along for the ride.
Am I truly worried about Hasselhoff on the radio? Yes, friends, yes I am. Radio is just dumb enough to do it.

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