My head, my head won't rely

I don't know about you, but I think I've been watching a bit too much Food Network. You see, the time has come once again to answer that age-old question: Who's been up too late watching re-runs?

This is: Iron. Blog. Hammistan!

A delectable Japanese tradition has taken root in Hammistani soil. We have been graced with our very own Blogging Stadium, where our lethargic and twisted Chairman has brought together the pungent flavors of Lame Humor and The 1980s. It is here, where the best of the only from around my living room meet and fact the ultimate challenge - the challenge of thinking of something to post.

We shall see if I, whom usually blogs from the comfort of my sofa can you face the torment of Blogging Stadium. Thus, let the battle BEGIN! But there is one more ingredient to this battle... our secret ingredient. The Theme on which our Iron Blogger will offer his succulent variations. Today's secret ingredient is...

BABIES!!


er... I mean,

HAIKU!

So now, Hammistan, with an open heart bypass, and a stomach full of limes, green soda, and God knows what else, I say unto you in something resembling the words of The Chairman: Allez Griffonner!

Mario Batali
Rolling out noodles
With orange Crocs and an orange beard
Dances with tuna




Cat Cora
Empress of Fusion
Magic with disp'rate flavors
Ouzo shots all around




Masaharu Morimoto
Our elder statesman
Knives fly and sushi is rolled
Gagged by voiceover




Bobby Flay
A smarmy jackass
Puts blue corn in everything
America's Iron Cook



(Not so fond of the Flay, am I?)

So as not to completely blow my wad on one gi-normous post, I'll save the rest of the Iron Haiku competition for later on this week. That way, I can loaf off for a couple days without feeling like a lazy sack of crap for neglecting the blog. You guys should be thankful that I'm so considerate, ya know.