Friday, August 14, 2009

This witness was injured and overthrown away

All of you multitudinous readers (all both of you, in fact) who also happen to keep track of events in Hillmomba, and whatever shithole Miz Ann is living in now will doubtless be aware of the current competition between Missouri and Mississippi to determine which state is king of the rednecks.

I don't know if Missiouri can come back from the devastating one-two combination laid out this week...

First up is the fake klansman on Facebook:

An African-American man has pleaded guilty after being accused of impersonating a white supremacist in a fictitious Facebook account to make death threats against an African-American university student.

Dyron L. Hart, 20, of Poplarville, Mississippi, admitted creating the fictitious account in November, pretending to be a white supremacist outraged by the election of Barack Obama as the nation's first African-American president, the statement said.

Followed by America's Most Incompetent Yokels!

Police had been watching Vincent Goff for years, convinced he was the masked man who sexually assaulted couples at gunpoint on the Mississippi coast. But before investigators closed in, they say Goff picked the wrong victim and was beaten nearly to death with his own rifle.

Goff allegedly approached a man and woman last Thursday afternoon on an isolated logging road in Harrison County and forced them into the woods with a rifle, Sheriff's Maj. Ron Pullen said Wednesday.

They were forced to strip off their clothes and told to perform sexual acts when the male victim, described as a physically fit member of the military in his mid-30s, wrestled the gun away.

"He beat him until the stock broke over his head and then continued to beat him until he thought he had him incapacitated," Pullen said.

I really want to know how that played out... "It puts its clothes on the ground, and hey, ow dammit!"

Stay tuned to see if Missouri and their jury-rigged auto jacks can stay in the fight!

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Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

Don't count Missouri out yet. We still have Claire McCaskill to up our embarrassment factor.

10:16 PM, August 19, 2009  
Blogger Stewed Hamm said...

Indeed. Hope springs eternal, HM. And with Claire around, gaffes spring rather frequently as well.

2:44 AM, August 20, 2009  
Blogger DeadpanAnn said...

Damn. I'm sorry I didn't read this earlier. Both stories are classic Mississippi stuff.

LOVE the story about the black guy impersonating a KKK member. HAH!

11:31 PM, August 25, 2009  

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