Monday, January 19, 2009

That's great, it starts with an earthquake

Hey there everyone, it's your old pal Stew here. I figured I'd put in one last post before the end of the world new age of plenty tomorrow. I guess we'll call it Random Thought Apocalypse Awesome-calypse.

$43 million price tag for a Presidential inauguration: shameful and ostentatious.
$150+ million: Your Patriotic Duty to watch as we all Move On Up to the East Side!

I spent most of yesterday with my parents, specifically shopping for an iPod with my mother, and giving her a guided tour of iTunes. Best Buy didn't have any of the 2 Gig Shuffles in stock, so rather than let her listen to the salesguy suggest that she try back in a week or so, I asked "Why, when we can buy one for less across the street?" (at Wal-Mart) He beat a hasty retreat.
What's especially frightening about the experience is that when my parents went home, they took 2 bigass boxes full of my CDs with them, to rip songs for the new Shuffle that they'll be purchasing at their local Wal. I just just know I'm going to start hearing stories about my Mom jogging to Master of Puppets, or Oingo Boingo.
Frightening. This, too, is another sign of our impending destruction free unicorns and hope-a-palooza!

I went shopping for a new book this month. I know, I know, what right do I have to start reading a book, when I've yet to complete Moby Dick? Well, it was free, and uh... it was free. Courtesy of a holiday gift from my sister, the former Ms. Hamm (now Mrs. Hamm-Unrai) who was brutally murdered a few years ago before her wedding in the Virgin Islands. I chose David McCullough's 1776, which I've been wanting to get for a while now. I'm way past Chapter 4, by the way (sorry Mr. Melville)
Also, it was nice to see everyone again, including our newest addition, lil' Hammlet (or Hamm-Unrai-let if you want to get technical about it)

Speaking of Crispmess presents, I got my special ladyfriend this game. We saw it in one of those "edumacational" stores (that also happen to sell all kinds of awesome Hello Kitty merch) a couple years ago, and haven't been able to find it since. Now: Mission Accomplished.

Like our good friend Patrick, I've been completely apathetic about the avalanche of sewage and horror cavalcade of love and change that's passing for current news. Honestly, I cashed in my concern when the second round of bailout begging started up last fall. The whole manufactured "Bailout Crisis" goes against any rational economic theory, which completely invalidates the last 4, 5, ??? years I spent at Hammistan U. earning my Economics degree.
I'm real happy about that, by the way.

Really happy.

Yeah, I think I'm gonna go have a drink before I start thinking about it too much. Peace out, homeskizzles. (or is that raaaacist?)

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Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

Long time no blog, buddy. Good to see that The One is bringing us together with his elaborate coronation.

Word Verification: burinki.

That will be PRESIDENT Burinki Dink from tomorrow on.

I really wish he had given Joe Biden the choice of President or Vice-President, instead of Secretary of State or Vice-President. Guess Joe didn't have enough to offer for THAT seat.

8:39 PM, January 19, 2009  
Blogger Deadman said...

who was brutally murdered a few years ago before her wedding in the Virgin Islands.

You're a sick bastard...

6:39 AM, February 09, 2009  
Blogger Stewed Hamm said...

Thanks a lot, Deadman. It's vividly apparent that you're a regular reader, and I just want to let you know how much I appreciate your continued readership. So from me to you: hey buddy, go fuck yourself sideways with a steamroller.

10:45 PM, February 23, 2009  

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