Monday, May 26, 2008

We can't even think of a word that rhymes

Hoo boy, what have I been up to this month...

For starters, the semester from hell turned out to be rather good to my grades. I ended up with a 3.6 this spring, and stand a good chance of being on the Dean's list. Maybe I should have been doing it this way all along...

Most importantly, I graduated from Hammhock U. The ceremony was alright, despite a truly inept guest speaker. He played Basis-Ball or whatever like 40 years ago, and apparently hasn't done anything worth mentioning since. His entire speech seemed to be an attempt to use as many "sports as a metaphor for life" platitudes as possible before the audience succumbs to ennui. It damn near worked, too.
I walked across the stage about 14th out of almost 300 people. Luckily, I ended up sitting next to an acquaintance of mine through the rest of the dog & pony show. Unfortunately, every fourth word out of his mouth was "dude" or "like." (Thanks for making my degree look even more prestigious, bro)
I don't have to worry about the school year almost being over - it's never even going to start!

I'm still in the process of finding a job. I didn't think it would be this difficult, as my degree's a little more useful than, say, art history or stabbing oneself in the face. On the other hand, maybe it's just my insistence that my job description not involve determining another person's preference regarding their meal's french fry status.

I was dragged to StealYourDollarCity last week. This would be an entire post unto itself if i weren't a lazy whore. As such, I'll just do an executive summary in bullet form.
  • Not being dragged into Branson proper.
  • Extremely short or non-existent lines for EVERYTHING.
  • More Kangaroo jerky than you can believe.
  • The House of (Very Little) Barbecue was actually packed to the gills with Barbecue this time. Plus, they had five (count 'em, FIVE) different types of sauce!

  • Didn't do the full Dolly. (included here solely for Hillbilly Mom's benefit. I can take her or leave her)
  • Not even one frickin' Journey song on the radio through the entire drive.
  • Completely forgot about getting a picture of Dick Stiff's Gynecology office.

God help me, but I just don't have that much to complain about on a trip to Branson. S'gotta be a sign of the Apocolypse or somethin'.

Most importantly, it's Memorial Day today folks. Whatever you do with your day, take a moment to remember those who sacrificed so that you're free to do it.
Additionally, as I do every year I'd like to remind you all to fly your flags properly, please.

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Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

I can't believe you went to Branson and didn't drop in on Dolly's Dixie Stampede. You probably didn't even see the giant fiddle or giant banjo at the Grand County Inn. What kind of Amerikan are you, anyway?

I haven't been snooping around here for a while, what with you posting about once every two months whether you need to or not. And now I find out that my HH has been gallivanting around Springfield tattooing people! So THAT'S where he gets his spending money.

I used to live in Springfield during my college days of dressing like a Coors Light can. I swear I had two neighbors dumb enough to pay for a door-to-door tattoo. They were sisters who drove a Dodge Charger with driver's side door that wouldn't open. When we heard it pull up, we rushed to the balcony to watch them both get out the passenger side (and ridicule them, of course). One of them had the name of 'Belinda', and the other one was always screaming at her. So we started our own deal where we would shout 'LEBINDAAAA!' when one of us did something stupid. Now you are the only person in Blogdom who knows the origin of 'Lebinda'.

6:02 PM, June 06, 2008  

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