I wish I had a nickname like Crusher, Snake or Kenneth

Random Thought Thursday strikes again. This time, it's so random, it's not even on Thursday!

First off, I'm glad to see that "Mark's" legal troubles are... ahem... behind him.

More importantly, though, is that if I ever have a kid, I'm going to nickname him or her "Yard Dog." Or "Bush Ape." I'm not for sure which one I'll go with, but definitely one of those two.
Seriously, though, how cool would it be the only kid in second grade with a nickname like "Bush Ape?" All the TJ's and the JR's that were at the top of the nickname heap when we were kids can suck it, because my kid Yard Dog owns them!
You know, Yard Dog and Bush Ape are such awesome nicknames, that I'm going to stick with them even if I have a daughter. OK, sure, she'll have to toughen up a bit if she's gonna be called Yard Dog, but I think she'll find it useful later on in life. No quarterback's going to try getting grabby on a date with my daughter Bush Ape, that's for damn sure.
The one area where I foresee problems is if I adopt a baby from China or Korea. Every nerd in the herd will spooge all over himself if he got within the same zip code as a hot Asian girl named Yard Dog.

Hmmm. I need to balance this out so it's not so obvious that I just wanted to riff on a couple of sweet nicknames I thought up. So here's one for the road: Given the massive dye job that Osama's got in his new video, is it racist for me to wonder if he used "Just For Men?"