Monday, December 25, 2006

Oh you better watch out, you better not cry

Hullo again everyone. Yeah, I'm still around... and this morning I'm pissing on everyone's holiday cheer. Because that's what I do.

Anyway, just be glad you didn't wake up to discover this under your tree:

And if you did... well, it brings a whole new meaning to that "Here Comes Santa Claus"song, doesn't it?

Monday, December 18, 2006

Some people use the front door, but that's never been my way

In the lobby of the building I work in, the restrooms are kept pretty damn-near immaculate. It's a prestige thing, so that anyone who drops by to drain the lizard is impressed with the professionalism of the place, and how fucking classy we all are because we work here. (This impression, by the way, lasts precisely up to the point where they meet me.)
Now, I'm an ordinary guy. Middle-class upbringing - but I had parents who respected quality, so there were occasional touches of the best parts of life: (materially speaking, anyway) The few vacations we took were Quality vacations. My dad only bought top of the line tools. That sort of thing... so anyway, I can spot true quality that sticks out amongst things that merely pretend to be quality.

The company bathrooms have this situation in reverse. I dunno if the Virgin Mary would come down and take a dump there, but she'd probably stop by to wash her hands. Amidst all the otherworldly splendor and opulence are the gayest soap dispensers known to man. To reiterate, for those of you on dial-up:

Gayest. Soap. Ever.

Look, we get that it's supposed to look nice. Intimidating, even. You've succeeded beyond your wildest dreams... except for the part where you have a $6 pump-bottle of "White Tea & Aloe Vera" liquid soap with the TJ Maxx price tag still attached.

Seriously, it's like a cat turd in the Sistine Chapel.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Waves were rough but that ole ship kept sailing

This just in from David Duke, and other "scholars" at the Iranian Holocaust Shindig:
"The Holocaust is the device used as the pillar of Zionist imperialism, Zionist aggression, Zionist terror and Zionist murder," Duke told The Associated Press.
Also the terrorist-loving president of Iran, who for simplicity's sake is known as Tom, is making headlines himself with such nuanced bon mots as:
"The Zionist regime will be wiped out soon the same way the Soviet Union was, and humanity will achieve freedom."

"By the grace of God, the arc of the Zionist regime's life has reversed and is heading downward. This is a divine promise and the public demand of all nations of the world," he said, bringing applause from the delegates.
What a dedicated scholar Tom is! How utterly committed to the discovery of truth and the pursuit of knowledge above all other concerns. Why, he even said so himself!
"Iran is your home and is the home of all freedom seekers of the world," Ahmadinejad said. "Here you can express your views and exchange opinions in a friendly, brotherly and free atmosphere."
Unless you wanted to, you know, express any of your views or opinions that just might happent to be critical of islam or the current Iranian regime. Try anything clever like that, and you'll be neck deep in sand enjoying a "friendly and brotherly" stoning.

Remember, nobody at the conference was anti-Semetic... they're merely anti-Israel.

Monday, December 11, 2006

In this world those golden rules may seem like they're made for fools

A-hem. Is this thing on?

So... yeah. I suppose I could try and explain myself.
I needed a break - badly. Classes were kicking my ass, and all I wanted to do was blog about pointless crap - even if I wasn't actually producing any posts, regardless of their subject. Oh sure, I could have taken a "rest" from the blog but like a siren it would always be there calling out to me... However, if I quit? Well, that's another tomato, isn't it?

To quote John Sullivan Dwight:
"Rest is not quitting
The busy career,
Rest is the fitting
Of self to one’s sphere."
In retrospect, it was the right decision. Almost as soon as I said I was out, I thought of all kinds of things to post... but I held firm. That in itself is a challenge for me, even in minor things like battling nose-zits and the like. I did compromise by remaining an active poster and reader of my friends blogs... so it wasn't like I was truly gone. Most importantly, I put school first and did what I could to fit everything else around that. I'm sure you all understand.

Anyway, I'm back to blogging. And as fate would have it, I haven't got a damned thing to say. What I can do is promise you guys that I won't up and quit on you again. You wouldn't believe me, anyway.

It's good to be back.