Thursday, March 17, 2005

All the teachers in the pub passing round the ready-rub

First things first: Happy Green Beer Day, you snake-bashing leprechaun-fuckers! (Naturally, that's meant in a good way... every reader should know that by now.)

To the new readers, I offer my apology. I understand that the preferred nomenclature is now "Beer of Color," so while you go read the archives and catch up to the rest of us, I'll try to be more sensitive to the suds in my frosty mug. Have one on me, Tenzin Gyatso.
If you live in one of the population centers with parades for every ethnicity under the sun, go out and enjoy the day... regardless of your ancestry. Get ye gone to the nearest tavern and go be judged not by the the color of your skin, but by the content of your flagon. Be careful you wear the appropriate headwear though... many people are still so backwards as to place more stock in symbols than in the people or traditions they are meant to stand for.

This being a double-holiday, I couldn't let it go by without commenting on the Big Dance. While I'm paitently waiting for my brackets to get shot all to hell, I'm missing cable TV like Robert Downey Jr. jonesing for snow in the big house. You see, our local cable tinpots include two different CBS feeds in the basic package - one from the actual local station, and another from a major urban center a few miles away. The result is that during the tournament we get double the number of games to watch. When one turns into a blowout (as many will do in the first few rounds) then you simply switch over to the other guys.
Alternatively, when Wisconsin-Milwaukee or New Mexico get close to fulfilling their destiny as #12 seeds, you can tune in to watch an overconfident team go down in flames.

The NCAA has out done itself this year in giving out virtual home games to the top seeds, especially the almighty Duke Blue Devils. God forbid we have to face a world where they're not a) a #1 seed, and b) in the Final Four. Just send them a plane ticket to St. Louis already and stop pretending to be objective. If the Illini advance, they'll play in Indianapolis and Chicago... hardly lengthy trips. Duke and UNC are both playing in fucking Charlotte for shit's sake... that's about as neutral a site as holding a Klan rally on Martin Luther King Street.
Anyway, since it will virtually assure that it does not come to pass, I'll go on the record with my half-assedly researched predictions. This year I like Oklahoma State and Kentucky. I also have a feeling that Wisconsin will go a lot deeper than most people expect. Don't ask me to justify any of this, of course... see the "half-assedly researched" qualifier above.

Hope you're not blinded by all the green text, guys. On the plus side, at least it's not continually blinking "12:00." Remember that friends don't let friends drive drunk... without getting it on tape for one of those blooper shows.


Blogger Stewed Hamm said...

Note to self: don't change the text color in one bigass block... it plays havoc with the links and whatnot. Anyway, that's all fixed now.

5:27 AM, March 18, 2005  

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