Monday, September 12, 2005

I walk on water and I don't get wet

Today I know how the professional vultures working for tabloids feel. The latest iteration of Sean Penn's New Orleans odyssey hit the web-o-trons and it brought a feeling of joy welling up from my inner being. It's exactly what I've been waiting for - the moment when the story goes from being about "the people" to being about Sean Penn.
Given Sean's history of grandstanding and ill-informed escapades to global trouble spots, whatever paper-thin veneer he had to mask his motivation is ripped away today. So what is it, one wonders? What's the reason Sean flew all the way to New Orleans from San Fransisco? What's the reason Sean valiantly bailed water from his sinking rescue craft? What's the reason Sean bravely patrolled the lawless city, shotgun at the ready?

It's because Sean wants us all to know how important his heroics were when he saved all those lives.
"We were pulling drowning people out of the water, it's the ultimate distress and human suffering ... dead bodies," he told GMTV.

"We were out there nine hours. There are people that are dying right now and I mean babies and old people and everybody in between - they're dying."
Of course, the list of the rescued started with Penn himself, and his buddies Rolling Stone reporter Matt Taibbi and Pointy-Headed Asshat Douglas Brinkley. Why Sean feels it necessary to bring along a lefty reporter and a Horseface Kerry apologist to rescue his party buddies I have no idea... unless it's all about getting media coverage. And of course, Sean's made plenty of time for interviews while he's busy personally rescuing people "out of the ultimate distress and human suffering," because he's here to help, right?
What could be more helpful than an interview on TV...

Since he didn't quite get the coverage he was hoping for on the blogs, he had to go to a European TV show to "tell his story." In typical Hollywood arrogance, Penn refers to National Guard and EMT rescue personnel throughout his interview as "we" and "us," to underscore how important he is.
He's also changed his reasons for being in the city in the first place. He told GMTV that he was in the city because
"Yeah, well this is my country... yeah. And like a lot of people, I was watching this stuff for four days, you know. And though we have come to be suspicious of the will of our administration, I don't think anybody would have ever anticipated the criminal negligence of the Bush administration in this situation."
Not, as he earlier claimed, because he had some friends who lived near the 17th Street Canal. Or because "I care about the people, and I care about the city, and I want to help," as reported in the NY Post on Saturday.

So it's evolved from "Hey buds... let's party!" to [bite lip] "I feel your pain" [/bite lip] and finally (?) to "George Bush is a criminal." Way to go Sean, you're a real frickin hero there.

Previous Sean Penn, USN ret. (arded) posts:
I am Yosemite Sam
Charge of the Red Cup Brigade

Previous Dodge City South posts:
Cover Your Blank-Hole
The Mayor Ray Nagin Memorial Motor Pool
Mary Landrieu's Punch-Out
Storm of Stupidity


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