We can't even think of a word that rhymes

Hoo boy, what have I been up to this month...

For starters, the semester from hell turned out to be rather good to my grades. I ended up with a 3.6 this spring, and stand a good chance of being on the Dean's list. Maybe I should have been doing it this way all along...

Most importantly, I graduated from Hammhock U. The ceremony was alright, despite a truly inept guest speaker. He played Basis-Ball or whatever like 40 years ago, and apparently hasn't done anything worth mentioning since. His entire speech seemed to be an attempt to use as many "sports as a metaphor for life" platitudes as possible before the audience succumbs to ennui. It damn near worked, too.
I walked across the stage about 14th out of almost 300 people. Luckily, I ended up sitting next to an acquaintance of mine through the rest of the dog & pony show. Unfortunately, every fourth word out of his mouth was "dude" or "like." (Thanks for making my degree look even more prestigious, bro)
I don't have to worry about the school year almost being over - it's never even going to start!

I'm still in the process of finding a job. I didn't think it would be this difficult, as my degree's a little more useful than, say, art history or stabbing oneself in the face. On the other hand, maybe it's just my insistence that my job description not involve determining another person's preference regarding their meal's french fry status.

I was dragged to StealYourDollarCity last week. This would be an entire post unto itself if i weren't a lazy whore. As such, I'll just do an executive summary in bullet form.
Pros:

• Not being dragged into Branson proper.
  
• Extremely short or non-existent lines for EVERYTHING.
  
• More Kangaroo jerky than you can believe.
  
• The House of (Very Little) Barbecue was actually packed to the gills with Barbecue this time. Plus, they had five (count 'em, FIVE) different types of sauce!

Cons:

• Didn't do the full Dolly. (included here solely for Hillbilly Mom's benefit. I can take her or leave her)
  
• Not even one frickin' Journey song on the radio through the entire drive.
  
• Completely forgot about getting a picture of Dick Stiff's Gynecology office.

God help me, but I just don't have that much to complain about on a trip to Branson. S'gotta be a sign of the Apocolypse or somethin'.

Most importantly, it's Memorial Day today folks. Whatever you do with your day, take a moment to remember those who sacrificed so that you're free to do it.
Additionally, as I do every year I'd like to remind you all to fly your flags properly, please.