No my back don’t really hurt but that’s my alibi

I would have posted this sooner, but I'm on strike today. You'll get no work or commerce from me until my demands are met. Until we stop marketing Cinco de Mayo at America like it's an important Mexican holiday, I'm boycotting May 5th.

That's right, I'mma sit on my ass all day and watch TV... maybe have a couple beers and watch a ballgame. You'll have to go find yourself some illegals to do the partying and drinking that this American won't do. You'd better head down to Home Depot and get a full truckload while you're at it, because they'll also have to pick up the slack on all the harassing of women, stabbings, and murders that I won't do either.