Monday, August 29, 2005

They took the credit for your second symphony

I'm sure there wasn't a soul among you that marked your calendars for the Video Music Awards last night. In fact, I'll wager that a good number of you haven't watched the show since there was still music on MTV. Be that as it may, you guys missed out on a grand farce on the level of the finest Fraiser episodes. Truly, it was a sight to behold.

To start (and end, and all points inbetween) with, the show was hosted by P. Diddy, who inserted himself into every fucking thing going on all night long. They should have just called it "The Video McDiddy Awards" because that's what it felt like I was watching.
Look, I've got no love for Puffly of course, primarily because he's a no-talent ass clown. But also because he's only famous because his homeboy Biggie was shot. Puffy's made a career out of pimping Biggie's corpse for sympathy in tribute album after tribute album. Oh, and he also fucked J. Lo, so there ya go.
Given that history, P. Dippy's pretending to "conduct" an orchestra playing a tribute to Biggie, while a slide show of his life played overhead was the icing on his career's cake of pretensiousness. Way to fucking go, Sean. You're a sychophantic superstar.

And then there's Green Day.

What can I say about them that hasn't already been said, eh? Another day, another post. I'll just stick to the relevant issues for now.

Green Day was nominated for 7 different awards and won 6 of them, a sizeable tally, when the most anyone else recieved was 2. That's not surprising of course when one considers the current trend of the entertainment industry lavishly rewarding anyone who bashes America. It didn't take Miss Cleo to see that American Idiot would steamroll the competition last night.
Chief among the statuette-spooge last night was the Best Video award for "Boulevard of Broken Dreams," a video in which a guy whines and bitches about how he's all alone, whilst walking down a street with two other people and at times passing literally dozens of other pedestrians. While many fans have taken this to mean the song is actually about an inner isolation, the lyrics themselves tell a different story.
"My shadow's the only one that walks beside me.
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating."
That's fine and all, but when there's 50 other people in the video, you're -- by definition -- not isolated.

Any college student can tell you that alienation and isolation are universal themes, and everyone can relate to them at one point or another. But Boulevard of Broken Dreams isn't really about that... it's about a picture. The song is simply a rehash of images and ideas that have been done before (and much better, I might add) by John Steinbeck. It's been done before on film by Elia Kazan and James Dean. Billie Jo Armstrong and his fake-ass English accent are (to paraphrase Ian Malcolm) standing on the shoulders of giants, getting their paychecks, and not bothering to care if they should.
As for the music itself, it's not that bad. That might have something to do with the fact that it has the same chord progression as Oasis's "Wonderwall," a song I really like. I also went through a James Dean period in my youth, so I can relate. If it were by anyone else, I'd be all over that song like ugly on a Baldwin Brother... but I'm not contributing any of my money to that passel of hacks Green Day.

I should've just watched John Ratzenberger's show on the Travel Channel...

----
Previous name dropping:
This rose smells like shit
Vote early and vote often

Previous empty idol worship:
Ar-Testify!

4 Comments:

Anonymous Rachy said...

This post made me really pissed off. Let me to time on it for a day and then I will get back to you!

12:45 PM, August 29, 2005  
Anonymous Rachy said...

I meant stew on it for a day. Note to self: pay more attention when writing comments.

12:47 PM, August 29, 2005  
Blogger Stewed Hamm said...

Coulda fooled me, Rachy. I figured it was just an Aussie-ism I wasn't familiar with.

Regardless, the post is only tengentally about the VMA show. As with all things, it's primarily an excuse to bitch about things that annoy me.
Otherwise I would be all over the Burlesque show that R. Kelly put on. The NY Times has a writeup here, for those interested in gay mimes. Also, according to that article, MC Hammer also made an appearance... I'm actually pissed that I missed that part. I want to know where we stand on the ability to touch "Dis."

2:53 AM, August 30, 2005  
Anonymous Rachy said...

I read a stupid fucking article yesterday saying that the success of Green Day was directly linked to a lack of support for the Bush government and the Iraq intervention... I wish I had kept the article, maybe I can find it on Google News, but it was the biggest load of tenuous bullshit I have read in recent times... So then I went and read a little Christopher Hitchens to make myself feel better...

Let them eat cake!

3:10 AM, August 31, 2005  

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