Thursday, November 03, 2005

Repeated in the Corridors, Performing the Same Movements

Something odd has become apparent to me over the course of this week: I am incapable of walking up a staircase one step at a time. Oh sure, I can force myself to do it for a little bit... but inevitably I'll gaze upwards to the landing atop the stairs and tell myself "Oh fuck this, I haven't got all day!" Usually I follow that with a run up the remaining steps to "make up for lost time," but sometimes I can cool out and just be content to casually stroll up 2 at once.

I've really been noticing this multi-step urge on the stairs at my apartment. It's not that I live on the 5th floor and thusly have a lot of time to spend pondering my upwards mode of transport. I only go up a flight and a half at the most. I guess it's the fact that it's the same flight and a half done 4 or 5 times a day every day that makes it an especially insistant urge.
I'd also like to think that I've got Really Important Thingsā„¢ to do with my day, and the 20-odd seconds that I'm blowing on that tired-ass "1 step at a time" routine is time that the rest of humanity will have to waste just dicking around until I get my butt upstairs and cure cancer or some shit. In reality? No, not so much. I'm basically just going to sit around and read people's blogs or play video games. I've got no real reason to hurry upstairs... yet I'm compelled to do so.

I'm sure that all the armchair shrinks out among the interwebs will tell me there's "deep-seated issues" I'm harboring, or the stairs are a metaphor for my childhood or whatever... but they're probably those same fucksticks that step on the same stair with both feet.
I carry a tire iron around with me just in case someone's pulling that shit on my staircase.


Blogger Rachy said...

a couple of times when I was living in Lithuania my housemate and I discovered someone had taken a dump in our stairwell... I would prefer them to go one step at a time!

11:47 PM, November 03, 2005  

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