Friday, November 20, 2009

You can see them walking Southward in their dirty underwear

Breaking news in the great Missouri vs. Mississippi redneck contest: It's broken into a three-way tie, as Tennessee makes a play for glory!

Man awakened in ditch with moonshine and rifle

ATHENS, Tenn. (AP) -- When Ricky Butler went to sleep on a rural, East Tennessee roadside, he didn't have to worry about comfort but apparently he was feeling insecure. McMinn County deputies found the 31-year-old Decatur man sleeping on his back in a roadside ditch, with a loaded rifle on his chest and an almost empty jar of moonshine in the bib of his overalls.

Butler told deputies who woke him up Sunday that he didn't know where he was. He also told them the jar had been full.

Deputies said Butler also had a machete and hand-rolled cigarettes believed to be marijuana.

Because really, a loaded rifle can only take you so far down the insanity turnpike. To get to your final destination, you simply must bring a machete!

The almost empty jar of moonshine is a really nice touch, too. It shows he's an experienced redneck - in case he starts to sober up and recognize where he is, the solution to his problem is jsut one swig of corn-squeezins away!

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